IT’S A MALAY THING. OR IS IT JUST US?

When you come to our house on any day during Syawal, you’ll find that my mother would have prepared some kind of dishes, Johor favourites or otherwise, elaborate fare or simple ones, for you and your family or your extended families or friends who tagged along for the visit.

If you call ahead a day or two before the visit, you’ll give her enough time to buy the ingredients and cook a storm in the kitchen.  If not, she’ll boil spaghetti and toss it in Prego’s Carbonara sauce, which she has in stock at home.

Yes, she’ll go out of her way to make sure that you are fed when you come to the house; never mind the fact that you told her not to susahkan diri nak masak bagai when you called to inform her of your impending visit.

She reminds me of her aunty, who she stayed with her teenage years, whom I addressed as Tok Itam. If we dropped by her house unannounced at Jalan Parit Besar in Batu Pahat, the first thing she would say after the customary greetings, hugs and kisses will be “Apa aku nak bagi kau orang makan ni?” She’ll tinker in her kitchen and a few hours later, lunch will be served despite telling her kami singgah sekejap je ni.”

(This is the same grand aunt who, when we were much younger, told my mother to bring us back to the kampong often after she found my brother and I chasing after a turkey in her backyard).

Whenever we asked why she needs to do all that, my mother will say, “orang kan datang nak beraya.” So much so, people expect to be feasted when they are at our home.

Well, I can understand if it’s the first day of raya where you’ll be cooking special dishes for the family and you share the Raya fare with those who come for a visit on that day or if you hold an open house when you invite everyone to your house. But individual visits, even if it is at the tail end of Syawal?

We had a discussion over this. My nephews and nieces tell me it’s not just nenek who is doing this but it’s a Malay thing.

“When you go visiting your Chinese friends during Chinese New Year, your Indian friends during Deepavali and your Christian friends during Christmas, what do you eat? Oranges, nuts, muruku, cookies and cakes only, kan? Orang Melayu saja yang jamu makanan berat-berat ni,” one niece said.

When I raised the halal issue, she said they can always cater to meet the requirements of their Muslim friends.

“It is a same with buying new clothes for Raya,” a nephew said. “You need a minimum of two Baju Kurung, one for the first day of Raya and the other for the second day of visiting.

“I visited my Chinese friend during Chinese New Year. She was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of cut-off jeans that didn’t look all that new. So, this is another Malay thing,” he said.

“And this thing about house-cleaning, kita buat se tahun sekali saja ke?’ another niece said, while her husband attending to one of three table fans at our home.

I remembered having to polish my mother’s brassware collection every Raya. The work is tedious and that alone can take up the entire day. She never used them except for family engagements and weddings. Most times, these brassware are kept locked in a display cupboard but we still had to polish them before Hari Raya.

Or maybe it is just us?” I asked them.

You can only find woven ketupat shells nearing Syawal
(file pix)